When you experience fear or anxiety, how do you ground yourself? How do you adjust your abundance mindset so you can pursue your purpose?
When you start spiraling toward negativity and self-defeating thought patterns, these are fundamental questions you need to ask yourself to redirect your trajectory. Because if you want to get to a place where you have 10 clients a month or a very successful mastermind or membership, there has to be an abundance mindset.
In this episode, Michelle and I are going to talk about gratitude and how it really fuels that abundance mindset. We’re diving into some strategies to help you get out of the funks of life and business and back into a place of self-compassion, gratitude, and abundance as these will truly help you achieve the success you desire!
Connect with Michelle:
Rachel: I am so excited because we are going to talk about gratitude and how gratitude really fuels that abundance mindset. I have Michelle with me to chat in this awesome conversation.
If you’ve been feeling this lack of gratitude or this lack of abundance mindset, I want to tell you a quick story. When I first started coaching, we had lost everything, all our savings, my husband, had lost his job, his job crashed with the crash of the stock market. So when I went into building this business back in 2010, we really were coming from this place of having nothing, I had to get a credit card, from my mother-in-law, who had this amazing credit to be able to pay off our bills to be able to support ourselves. It was really a scary time.
But what’s interesting is at that time, I had such a belief in what I was doing, that it fed this abundance mindset. I didn’t step into the fear, I was like, screw it! I’m going to show up, even though I’m scared, I’m going to show up because I believe that I am meant to help people in this world. It was something that was really a part of a significant gratitude practice, something that to be honest, I have fallen short in the last few years of doing –that amazing gratitude practice.
The need to get back to a place where that abundance mindset doesn’t diminish when fear comes in. Because that’s what I think is the big thing is if you are a person that has fear, and that fear and anxiety can come in and play this part, it’s real easy to step out of this place of an abundant mindset, and go into this place of Oh, my God is anyone going to hire me? Is anyone going to buy? Am I going to be able to launch this program? Are people actually going to want it? We go into that spiral, the hamster in the cage that’s just going around. And then we can spiral out to where there is not an abundance mindset at all.
This is especially true for those who grew up in a situation where maybe your parents didn’t have as much of an abundance mindset, where there was a lot of chaos, or there was a lot of drama, or there was a lot of trauma. So I want you to really step into that place today and ask yourself where is your level of gratitude? What is your practice in the morning? Do you ever practice at night? When you start to have those spiraling thoughts, what are you actually doing to ground yourself?
When I go back to thinking about that experience, where we lost everything, my gratitude, my abundance mindset was amazing. Which is why we’re focusing on really stepping back into that place. What are the things that I need to do to change in my daily practice? Where am I falling short? Where do I need to check some of the thoughts that are going on?
We’re gonna dive into some strategies to get out of that funk and back into a place of gratitude and abundance mindset.
How To Keep Yourself In That Abundance Mindset
Michelle, thanks for being here. I know you’re a person that has such an abundance mindset. How do you keep yourself in that abundance mindset?
Michelle: Mine comes from a similar, not exact, experience, but a similar experience and losing everything and almost having nothing to lose because I had lost everything already. So I had everything to gain to go forward and to keep going. Coming from that place.
A short synopsis for those who don’t know my background –over 10 years ago, I went through this divorce, and I ended up living back with my parents, which is every grown adult’s nightmare. So I had two kids living in this one bedroom, and I was starting my business. It was just this moment of every single opportunity that I got was just massive appreciation for and recognizing and always staying in that mindset of every opportunity is a blessing, whether you take it or not. It’s still an opportunity. It’s a possibility.
So really looking from that mindset of appreciation for everything that you have, and also keeping your mindset open for what else is possible for the future and your life in general and your coaching practice and just not minimizing yourself and your capabilities as a human being, which can just happen when you’re around either negativity or people putting you down, or people who don’t believe in you, or so I think it’s a matter of believing in yourself, to be able to have that abundance mindset and also being willing to take some risks on yourself, betting on yourself. Otherwise, it’s easy to dim your shine.
I remember when I was starting my business –back then I was a health coaching/virtual assistant– I was so concerned with taking care of my two kids, obviously, financially, so I’m getting out of the one bedroom. So I was like, maybe I’ll just get a regular job. I’ll just get a regular job. But maybe I’ll do it part-time. And I’ll work my business part-time.
That was a fallback mindset that I had. Oh, I can’t do this. So I’ll just have this just in case I fail and all this other stuff. So I went for the interview, and I got the job, but I didn’t take it, thank God. It was just super ridiculously low paying. And they were asking for a lot out of everyone who worked for them. It was just a hard, hard position. But I had the background for it. I had the education and everything still.
I remember, crying in the car like, Okay, I got the fall back thing. Do I take it? Do I not take it? If I go that route, I saw myself falling into that trap of okay, well, then it’s here so I’ll just continue that full time. But it really wasn’t what I wanted, it was not purpose aligned, it was not something I really wanted to be doing. I would never have been happy doing it. I felt I would have been a different person had I taken that job completely, probably would be stressed out about all the things. But I was still really scared to turn it down. Because that meant taking a risk to be able to provide for my kids. But what it did for me was fueled a fire that my business just had to work.
When You Have Nothing To Lose, You Fuel The Fire
Rachel: I love that you brought that up because I feel when you said I have nothing to lose, that’s exactly how I felt when I first started my business. It was fueling this fire of, I’m gonna keep going, I’m gonna make this work. I knew that I was meant to deliver.
But these opportunities weren’t coming in the beginning. I had to go find those opportunities. I was struggling with his online presence. I didn’t have the best marketing staff. Looking back, I wish we had done the free programs back then. Because I am not great in Canva. I am not making print images, there are times that I even say to you, Michelle, can you just make me an image? Because it was hard for me to get that online presence without that fancy marketing stuff.
So I started taking my ass offline, and started going and pitching to local businesses, asking if I could do workshops. That would not have been possible if I didn’t have that abundance mindset, because I feel that fear shows up for all of us. Whether it’s fear of doing video, fear of pitching yourself, whether it’s to a podcast, or to an admin in a Facebook group, or to a business. And then we don’t feel confident. We don’t show up with an abundance mindset. We slouch. We’re not standing up straight, and then all of a sudden, we don’t get that opportunity because we’re already in that self-defeating world spin.
Michelle: Yeah, you’re stuck in that mindset. It’s so hard to actually put into words even as a copywriter because it’s a feeling, it’s an emotion, it’s a drive. Most successful people don’t stop, you have to keep going. Even if something comes up, like getting a medical bill unexpectedly in the mail that our insurance should have covered. You get hit with a couple $1,000 for a hospital visit. My husband will get more frazzled about it and I’m more in the mindset of it’ll work out. It will cover it, we always do it, it always works out.
I always try to keep that up because I used to be the other way around years ago. 10 years ago, I had a completely different mindset. I would be stressed out about every little thing. Back then it was just not good financially, late on rent, getting state aid. I was just stuck in this fear of, “it’s not working out, so it’ll never work out.” And it was a horrible mindset. But I didn’t know until I lost it all. Which wasn’t a ton to lose, but it was enough. Your home, your privacy, that was a lot to lose. So, to gain it all, little by little and more.
Changing my mindset has not only brought more abundance, but also that gratitude that you talked about that appreciation and pursuit of purpose. I would say it is really what I chase. Now, it’s not just about money, it’s also about how earning that money makes me happy and I think that is really important. Because even with most health coaches’ qualifications, and all the education I see health coaches have, you can literally get a job anywhere, right? A lot of them have bachelor’s degrees, or certifications, or an endless list on their resume with all these different qualifications. But would it make you happy? It all has to tie in to be able to be your own boss and have the abundance mindset, have the gratitude, and watch all of the possibilities come.
How To Get Yourself Out Of Negative Thought Patterns
Rachel: When I think about how this truly impacts our health coaching –if there’s not a level of gratitude, it’s really hard to have that abundance mindset and that gratitude keeps us grounded. To not go into that hamster wheel and say all those negative things like, I’m not good at this, I’m not smart enough. I’m not gonna be able to accomplish this. All the things that I think about, many of us when we’re pushing ourselves, to push past fears, or to tackle something that’s new, that’s when my abundance mindset gets triggered, and not in a good way.
But to be able to catch yourself in the thought pattern and say, am I being gentle with myself? Am I being loving? Am I being compassionate? Because if not, how’s this gonna impact me being able to charge my work? Being able to charge for packages, being able to show up online, being able to show up on workshops, webinars? It almost makes it impossible.
I think if you can really focus on that strategy of creating a gratitude list in the morning or waking up and pausing for five minutes, open your eyes, not looking at your phone. Hopefully your phone is not right next to your bed. But just taking that time to be really grateful that you have this freedom to do a job that you really love, to work for yourself, to have time freedom, to be able to work with clients and make transformations, that you’re breathing, that you have your health.
Even when I had an autoimmune, I used to sound grateful for it because it taught me so many lessons about myself, my perseverance, and the ability to tackle really hard cases. Yeah, I’m out on the other side. And then it’s when I think a coach doesn’t have that you’re not attracting money. No money can be it can feel a little icky, especially as healers when we talk about it, but if you want to get to that place where you have 10 clients a month or you have a very successful mastermind or a very successful membership, there has to be an abundance mindset there because the most successful people have that.
Michelle: For me, a lot of that comes from my faith and God and knowing it’s just an action. What I do is I try to serve God’s people, and I just trust that he is always going to take care of me because I’m doing for him with everything that I do. That’s how I tried to do that. So for anyone listening, just having that similar belief of just how humanity works and the ecosystem of life that when you’re putting out good into the world, good will come back to you. It’s the same type of thing. If you show up every day, and you’re thankful, and you’re following up with people, and you’re serving the clients you have, and you don’t have resentment or bitterness about not having your goal or something like that.
Having Compassion For Yourself & Doing What You Can When You Can
Rachel: That’s a really valid point you just brought up because it’s having that compassion with yourself, even if maybe you’re not there yet. And to know that, in time, you’ll get there. I think of that book by Gabby Bernstein, Trust The Universe, to have this faith that there is something bigger than you, as long as you’re taking those forward action steps. And when you can’t, say Okay, I can’t take this action step right now. But I’m gonna have compassion for myself.
Michelle: And doing what you can, which may not be a lot all the time but it’s enough. What you can do is always enough. So I think that’s really important. Because it’s not in the coaching world. What I love about coaching in general, is that it’s never just about money –even though it’s about money, right? Everyone wants to make a certain income or has to make a certain income, or has bigger goals. It’s purpose-driven money. So it’s totally different than exchanging in the corporate world, in my opinion. I think that it’s all about serving people, coaches, in general, serve people tremendously and not giving up on that. The more that you pursue that, the more will come to you.
Rachel: An important part also for that busy entrepreneur, because whether you’re brand new, and you’re thinking about your website, your signature freebie, your signature talks, list building social media, or whether you’re up-leveling. Maybe you’re hiring a team –it’s very hard to grow your business if you’re not also taking that time to step back, and give yourself a pause.
So I think for that entrepreneur, who’s maybe working full time, and this is your side hustle, or for that entrepreneur that is working full time to give yourself space within the day where you take a walk, or rebound or just step out in nature, because I think, when we are doing a lot, sometimes that part can really chisel out on that gratitude, because we get too tired. S
It’s important to rest and carve out time within your day, to be able to pause, get perspective, be conscious of your thoughts that are going through. And if you really need to shake it up, do some essential oils, take a pause and say to yourself, go outside for a walk, just get into nature and do something that’s really pleasurable to be able to reset.
How To Be Clear In What You Want So You Can Pursue It
Michelle: I think that’s so important and thinking of abundance as it’s not always money. So it’s what do you want more of? Do you want more time? Do you want more freedom? Do you want more peace? What do you want and need in your life? And how can you get more abundant with each of those categories? Because not everybody’s vision of success is the same. So it’s really a matter of what do you really want? And then how are you going to pursue that?
Rachel: I think it’s really important to be clear in what you want. I love that you talked about that. As we come up, come upon Thanksgiving and we come on the new year, we’re always thinking about resolutions. We want to reflect on the past year and look at everything we have to be grateful for, the people in your life, the opportunities that come. But it can really feed into not a scarcity mindset because I know it’s really easy as an entrepreneur when you’re working for yourself to get into that scarcity mindset and think that maybe you’re not going to stand out enough. But it’s being really crystal clear on what you want more of and what you’re willing to let go of to achieve that abundance mindset and hold gratitude as a place to reground
Michelle: Yeah, I think that’s so important and also not to be triggered by external things. I remember having conversations with certain people during the pandemic, and they would see things on the news about money in crashes and stuff. And it would stir up this is happening out there, what’s going to happen to me and my business? SO just try to have a healthy balance between acknowledging what’s real, but also still holding on to what’s possible for you and not being affected by all the turmoil out there, I think is really important for maintaining an abundance mindset.
Rachel: Well, and even right now, that’s all the talk, we’re talking about a recession. I built my business in a recession. Amy Porterfield was just talking about going recession-proof because she built her business in a recession. Instead of being halted into that scarcity mindset, come up with your plan, with your low cost offer, where you can attract that person, get them in the door, whether it’s a 90-minute single session, or it’s a low-cost offer program, take them through those steps to leading them to your higher ticket coaching. And don’t let the scarcity mindset hold you.
Instead, step back into gratitude, step back into the abundance mindset where there are enough people out there looking for you. But make sure that you’re also super clear in what you offer, and what you want to be known for. Because I think that that’s where we get in that scarcity mindset, I see people hopping niches. They’re like, Oh, I think I need to do this. It’s like, No. You need to do what you are really meant to do and get crystal clear so that you can show up with that confidence.
Michelle: And just keep going instead of second-guessing yourself. Sometimes it just takes time. It’s easy to get sucked into a lot of the marketing out there, overnight this and $10k month that. Those do happen, but it’s not usually the norm. Usually, it’s a process. So you have to trust the process, trust yourself, and keep going, no matter what happens
Rachel: This coach came to me miserable in their work, but has a very successful job, but they hate it and they want to get out. This person sent me four different emails. I have three different conversations with this person. And every conversation, they were jumping around to a different niche. I said to this person, I think that your fear of taking the leap is stepping in the way of you going to a different place in your life.
Fear is the opposite of the abundance mindset. Because there’s fear present. I said, start with a few workshops, do those workshops on YouTube, start getting visibility, take baby steps, test out the four different niches that you’re talking about. So that’s the most interaction, because it was metabolism, gut hormones, weight loss, all of which are the core pillars of a lot of people’s business and maybe what people are coming to them for.
But this person could not get past the fear. I finally said, you’ve got to make a decision. If I make the decision for you, you’ve got to make the decision that you’re willing to put aside five hours a week to create those pre recorded workshops, put them on YouTube, get your website up to par, and have that signature freebie. Once you decide which of those workshops are doing better or test freebies, you’ll get to this different place in your life. So they are actually happy and grateful.
Knowing What Abundance Looks Like For You & Going For It
Michelle: I always think of Kate Spade and just certain people who seemingly had what most would consider everything in life but happiness or at least depression took over. So it’s really knowing what abundance looks for you, because it’s not comparing yourself.
Rachel: I think we also normalize fear, and normalize that anxiety around taking big steps. I know for me dealing with anxiety and depression. I have to be really careful when my thoughts are going because my husband’s the one that’s always like, we lost everything we have, we have each other, we’re fine. And I’m trying to not get triggered by that, because it’s very easy for me to get triggered. We’re not gonna have anything, not gonna be able to support my family. And yet, I’ve had continued success. 12 years in an online business, consistent income.
But when you’re brand new, you just have to hold on to that belief and faith that you’re going to get there. And to do what you and I both did, in the beginning, take the steps that you need to take, there’s not going to be this perfect plan. Just put one step in front of the other.
Being Conscious Of How You Speak To Yourself
Michelle: I think that’s the ultimate key for sure. Because anything can happen, so it’s always possible, whatever you want. To be really conscious, I keep going back to those words and those thoughts, but they’re extremely powerful, be conscious. I know, this morning, I have not been working out as much as I used to. So I get on the frickin’ peloton and at 15 minutes, I’m done with this. And then it was like, you’re a quitter, you’re this, you’re that, and I was like, this is not beautiful, gentle language to have said. Be really conscious of how we speak to ourselves.
Be conscious of the people that are in your life. I think that’s another thing. Because if you have people that are drama, that are negative, that are toxic, there is no way to hold space for yourself enough. Finance mindset.
Rachel: That’s definitely true. Especially if you have to deal with people and some of them are your friends. Some of them could be your family. You just have to make sure that you keep a safe space around yourself because it’s so easy to get infected with other people’s negativity, it’s almost an illness.
Michelle: That’s a really important one for me. If I feel I can handle a lot of negativity, personally, it’s just who I am in nature. But I do have a tipping point, mine might be higher than others. But when I get there, I’m like, I can’t hear one more dramatic, horrible negative thing. And I just remove myself from the situation. If you have to do that and take a day or two to absorb, do that.
Rachel: You know what I do? I was saying to one of my friends who’s an entrepreneur as well. And she was like, when I feel too much drama, I go on to Instagram and I make my whole feed about puppies. I’ma pug mom, so I looked for pugs and French Bulldogs. So now my feed has all these positive little puppies, all this great stuff. It’s a nice balance for me in my day to just be reminded of this.
It’s almost like when your kids are so young and so curious about life and you get those big smiles from them. Then they turn into teenagers with raging hormones. There are smiles but it’s not the same thing as when they are just these curious little babies. So that’s what I’ve done. Baby puppies, inspirational quotes, and that has worked out really well because I will scroll on Instagram I will scroll on Tik Tok. I will scroll on Facebook and I have to make sure that my exterior world is a happy place.
Michelle: That’s super duper important, especially social media. If I see a trending fear or something that the media instilled, I hope off. I can’t do it because then it’ll trigger my own anxiety. So I just try to stay in a happy place. That’s probably why I have three dogs, two cats. I surround myself around things that make me super happy no matter what’s going on. So that’s important. I wouldn’t suggest getting a collection of animals but do something that willl still make you happy.
Rachel: Even just talking about abundance mindset has brought a big smile to my face. One of the most important things to think about is grounding yourself. What works for you? Put great people in your life.
If you’re an entrepreneur, it can be really overwhelming, even getting a virtual assistant, if that’s something that you can afford. And if you can’t afford it, I would say definitely carve out something in your life, don’t go out to dinner twice in one week or cut down on some other bill because bringing in somebody that can help to keep you positive and make that overwhelm less is something really important. I’d say also do gratitude less.
I am recommitting to journaling. I’m not a lover of journaling, I will admit it, but it’s definitely great to get the thoughts out. You can always do a write and burn when you’re feeling negative. Write down all those negative thoughts, all those fears, get them out of your brain and onto a piece of paper and then go burn it in a safe place. Don’t burn inside your home.
The last one is to go and get extra support. Whether that be Reiki, energy healing, an acupuncturist, or a therapist. Make sure that you’re getting extra support so that when you are feeling a little level of fear or anxiety, you have somebody to share it with and work through and get to a different place.
Lastly, know your mindset and those thoughts and words, catch yourself when you find yourself saying negative things. Ask a loved one to remind you of things that you feel are really positive about me. Tell me some things that you think are really special about me and keep a jar of them a person once told me. Have people in your life who will write down things that are really great about you, put it in a jar, and then each time take a piece out of that jar. I actually did that for my husband as a present. It’s 100 little love notes and little pills for a birthday present and he just opens up one a day and reads them. So it’s always some great things to do for yourself and keep yourself really grounded.